I get it. Celebrating shame sounds like a complete oxymoron.
Why would you do such a thing as celebrate the qualities of yourself that you judge? After all, if you didn’t have these shameful qualities, all would be great in your world, right?
This is exactly what your ego/inner critic wants you to believe.
Your ego has been with you for quite some time, trying to make sense of why things haven’t worked out in your life. Unbeknownst to you, while you are very young, you start to form hypoth-esizes as to how it could be that you didn’t receive something you desired. Because you aren’t able to sort out what happened to you consciously, the typical end conclusion you begin to form is that there is something wrong with you.
Whatever you conclude is wrong with you gets imprinted in your subconscious as a negative belief about yourself (and often life as well). With your shame wired deep within your subcon-scious, your ego convinces you that in order to get what you desire from life, you are better off hiding this imperfection of yours.
What happens is you spend a lot of unconscious energy trying to keep this aspect of you that you believe is shameful hidden. Living life trying to hide your shame isn’t just exhausting, it doesn’t work. You work hard to try to stuff this part of you away, only for you to get triggered and it comes out sideways.
Now the ego has a hold on you with so called “proof” that it’s these shameful aspects that keep you away from your desired result. The reality is it’s our perception that is causing the same types of unconscious reactions within you. This is why no matter how hard you try things re-main the same.
To begin to shift this wiring that has taken root well before you were 7, we need to bring forward the shame, rather than keep it hidden.
If you resist your shame, it will persist. A shift will begin to occur if you are able to recognize what is actually a gift about the aspects of self you find faulty. I promise it is worth doing.
This month we are going to go inward and set the record straight about your shame. I hope you are game!
‘Name Your Shame’ Game:
Here is a list of what I call Hall of Fame Shame Themes:
- Not Good Enough
- Too Greedy
- Too Sexual
- Too Needy
At one point in my life, I felt each and every one of the above shame themes. While I can still have moments when I feel ashamed, they don’t run or control my life. In the past, the above shame would dictate what I would or wouldn’t do. Now, I see them for what they are and reclaim my truth.
Take the following steps to begin to heal your relationship with shame:
1. Which of the above shame themes do you carry?
2. How do they show up in your life?
3. What are the underlying negative messages about yourself that are tied into that shame?
4. What evidence do you have that this shame is correct?
5. What evidence do you have that this shame is incorrect?